The Background

Once I took the test, I started to pray.

I prayed that it wasn't a fluke.

I prayed that everything was healthy.

I prayed that this pregnancy would end happier than my first...

You see, exactly 3 months earlier, on June 19, 2011, I took a test and got a positive result. I couldn't hold in my happiness and told Hubby right away! We told my parents that afternoon. We told his mom a couple days later... and the rest of the family in the next couple of weeks. We were elated! Over the moon. Things were going exactly according to our plans. We had hoped for this, and here it was actually happening!

Then came July 9th.

I woke up with some spotting, and throughout the day, it got heavier. In my heart, I knew what was happening, but Hubby and my mom tried their hardest to keep me positive. Maybe it was just a bladder infection. Maybe just something weird. Heck, even the doctor on-call wasn't worried. He said to give it time. By that night, though, as I was heading to bed, I just knew. We needed to go to the ER.

Mom and Dad met us there and stayed with Hubby and myself for the long hours of waiting early into the morning. Tests confirmed what my heart had been preparing me for. This wasn't God's time for us to have a baby.

The next several days brought many moments of depression and millions of tears. I had so many questions, yet at the same time, I had this unexplicable peace about everything. I knew God had a reason for this, I just wasn't sure of what it was at the time. As the months have gone on, things definitely make more sense, and I know that God was 100% in control of everything.

 Hubby bought me a beautiful amethyst ring (February's birthstone; would have been baby's) that I wear every day. I have my moments of sadness, and I wonder, "What if..." sometimes. However, I also feel my little baby kicking inside my belly, and I can't help but feel joy and happiness for what is heading our way.

One thing's for sure... There's going to be a wonderful reunion in Heaven one day when I get to meet my little angel baby!

September 19, 2011

"Honey, what am I looking at here?" This is the question I hear coming from the bathroom while I sit in the living room with the biggest grin on my face! Little did Hubby know... when he came home from work that Monday, he was going to be seeing a big ol' plus sign greeting him!

Sunday morning at church, I just hadn't been feeling myself. My tummy was gurgly, and my emotions weren't the best. I knew my monthly visitor was due any day, though, and didn't pay it much mind.

{Of course, it was ALWAYS in the back of my hopeful mind...}

I slept it off that afternoon and headed to school the next morning, still not feeling myself. I had a brief moment of heartburn around one of my coworkers, and she immediately asked if I was pregnant. "Not that I know of!" was my response. However, I knew right then that I'd be stopping off at the grocery store for a pack of tests on my way home that evening.

I couldn't even wait til Hubby got home... I took a test right away, and right away it showed me the image I had been praying for! I couldn't help but laugh, cry, pray, you name it! I left the test for him to see, and I set out to take my first of many, many naps over the next several weeks!

It was a wonderful Monday! :-)