The Background

Once I took the test, I started to pray.

I prayed that it wasn't a fluke.

I prayed that everything was healthy.

I prayed that this pregnancy would end happier than my first...

You see, exactly 3 months earlier, on June 19, 2011, I took a test and got a positive result. I couldn't hold in my happiness and told Hubby right away! We told my parents that afternoon. We told his mom a couple days later... and the rest of the family in the next couple of weeks. We were elated! Over the moon. Things were going exactly according to our plans. We had hoped for this, and here it was actually happening!

Then came July 9th.

I woke up with some spotting, and throughout the day, it got heavier. In my heart, I knew what was happening, but Hubby and my mom tried their hardest to keep me positive. Maybe it was just a bladder infection. Maybe just something weird. Heck, even the doctor on-call wasn't worried. He said to give it time. By that night, though, as I was heading to bed, I just knew. We needed to go to the ER.

Mom and Dad met us there and stayed with Hubby and myself for the long hours of waiting early into the morning. Tests confirmed what my heart had been preparing me for. This wasn't God's time for us to have a baby.

The next several days brought many moments of depression and millions of tears. I had so many questions, yet at the same time, I had this unexplicable peace about everything. I knew God had a reason for this, I just wasn't sure of what it was at the time. As the months have gone on, things definitely make more sense, and I know that God was 100% in control of everything.

 Hubby bought me a beautiful amethyst ring (February's birthstone; would have been baby's) that I wear every day. I have my moments of sadness, and I wonder, "What if..." sometimes. However, I also feel my little baby kicking inside my belly, and I can't help but feel joy and happiness for what is heading our way.

One thing's for sure... There's going to be a wonderful reunion in Heaven one day when I get to meet my little angel baby!